Why?

Well, it is just another late night and I am up because my mind will not settle down. Racing thoughts are the bane of anyone’s sleep.

One of the first things I must write is that Caleb, I love you and think about you daily, there are many reasons why I do not see you as much as I am sure that you would like and I pray that we will be able to sit down and just have a long conversation.

Now to business, you may wonder why I titled this little post ‘Why?’

Well, that is probably the best question one may ask.

I have had some losses these last few weeks and it seems that in my life, all the good things, or at least the things that I see as good, has been taken away from me.

And there are days that I genuinely do not know why.

I have not been a saint and I am sure that is one of the reasons, but why Lord?

Have I been that unworthy that I cannot be happy for any stretch of time?

Why are you testing me?

And being the idiot that I am I cannot see the why right now.

What is my why? I do not know anymore.

I try and not dwell in the past, but I keep getting haunted by dreams, the last vivid one was my brother and I watching a red meteor hit Earth and all this dust was kicked up then we had to hide from these creatures that just popped out of nowhere.

What does that mean?

Enough for now, my eyes are getting heavy. Maybe I will be able to sleep after all this.

Good night all and God bless.