Well, it is just another late night and I am up because my mind will not settle down. Racing thoughts are the bane of anyone’s sleep.

One of the first things I must write is that Caleb, I love you and think about you daily, there are many reasons why I do not see you as much as I am sure that you would like and I pray that we will be able to sit down and just have a long conversation.

Now to business, you may wonder why I titled this little post ‘Why?’

Well, that is probably the best question one may ask.

I have had some losses these last few weeks and it seems that in my life, all the good things, or at least the things that I see as good, has been taken away from me.

And there are days that I genuinely do not know why.

I have not been a saint and I am sure that is one of the reasons, but why Lord?

Have I been that unworthy that I cannot be happy for any stretch of time?

Why are you testing me?

And being the idiot that I am I cannot see the why right now.

What is my why? I do not know anymore.

I try and not dwell in the past, but I keep getting haunted by dreams, the last vivid one was my brother and I watching a red meteor hit Earth and all this dust was kicked up then we had to hide from these creatures that just popped out of nowhere.

What does that mean?

Enough for now, my eyes are getting heavy. Maybe I will be able to sleep after all this.

Good night all and God bless.

Another wonderful rant.

I put these thoughts down and while I do I, at times dwell on the why.

Which brings me to today’s post.

Do people out there today know their why? In this day and age? I wonder in this day of instant gratification and short attention span. We have social media which a lot of times let us post our foolishness for the world to see, and I do literally mean the world.

When someone becomes upset in this day and age, they pull out their phone or computer and let the denizens of Cyberspace know their thoughts and emotions. Lots of times without thinking of the possible consequence.

And it is not just the average person but celebrities do it all the time, while people do get hacked online and stars I am sure are more of a target, but they also post some amazing thoughts in the heat of the moment which at times they regret later.

One becomes angry over something and at times those things that actually made us mad really were not the worth the effort that was expended in the first place. Then they post some kind of commentary then hit send.


Well, as of this writing I have two stories published in a unique anthology with two more stories coming up in two other anthologies.

Four stories, three more than I ever dreamed of.

I still am stunned about it,

I am a Published Author!!

Thank you, GOD, for letting me achieve a dream in the midst of a challenging life, made that way from my own inane choices.

Living with pain.

Dealing with chronic pain is not a fun way to live, even more so when your body metabolizes pain killers so quickly that to have the therapeutic effect that the average person would have is about 15 times the normal dosage. For example, I was given Dilaudid, which is one of that strongest legal painkillers at 4mg for, at the minimum 4 hours, that dosage lasts me about 5 minutes. For it to last me 4 hours, I would have to take about 15 pills which would damage my liver and my kidneys. So I have learned to focus past the pain and try to function as best that I can, also I do not let others know the level of pain that I am in because most do not understand, which also backfires at times where people think I am faking it to avoid working. I am not the only one who suffers like this, people with MS go through a hard time and so do people who suffer from Lyme Disease.

At this point in time, there are no cures for any of these issues and it is frustrating, so please if you hear or see someone suffering from a chronic condition, a little compassion, please.


This what I do not like about election time and this election, in particular, it is making people who have known for years, ugly.

Very ugly.

And it is not just one person, and not with just one candidate, it is a number of you, on both sides.

This is why I am going to try and stop making commentary about the candidates.

Some of you are so obsessed with your favorite that it seems that in your posts, they cannot do anything wrong, and if they did? You will not admit to it.

Trump is no saint, neither is Clinton, nor Stein or Johnson.
Neither is Obama, or Bush, or anyone before them in recent memory.

This change I am seeing in people is actually frightening.

I am praying for you all.

Good night and may God bless you.

Signs of the times…

Hello all, it has been a long time and I am sorry that I have not kept up on this as I should have but that is the past and we should be concerned about the present and more so the future.

People have become very ugly theses days, more so with the bruhaha going on with the current elections. I honest thought it would not be as bad as the last one, but I was wrong. This election has become a catalyst for some very disturbing emotions and thought processes.

If you vote for A, you are a racist, if you vote for B, you are stupid.

What the hell?

What has happened to us? Respect for our fellow human being has hit an all time low and the way it is looking, the bar will go even lower.

And that is just the elections, we have cops killing innocent people because of their color, disturbed individuals taking lives for the strangest of reasons, banks committing fraud and the upper levels of management get away with a slap on the wrist and one hell of a bonus check and raising prices for essential medication that people just cannot afford.

And that is just a small list, and that is just here in the states. I can go on with what is happening around the world.

Why you may ask, why are things happening?

Capitalism in some instances, racism, religion, and ignorance in others.

But I can sum it all up in just one word…..hate.

There is a lot of hate and apathy today.

People just do not care about other people, and it is very sad, and like I said before, it is going to get worse.

End Times people, that is what I think is going on.

This is why I have begun to reach out to people I have not spoken too in a long time, to ask for forgiveness and/or to forgive them because in my humble opinion is truly short.

Also if you are not right with God, do not wait because signs are pointing to something big to happen to this planet and it is coming soon.

As a famous line said, “Something wicked, this way comes..”

If you do not believe, please at least consider it.

I pray for all of you.

God bless and make some time to make someone smile or even laugh, I bet you someone you know needs it, or maybe a simple hug, Lord knows I need one.

Have a great day.

Back to the grind.

It has been a while since I have put fingers to keys to write down what has been going through my mind and I think I have sat on my laurels long enough so here we go.

There last few years have had me scratching my head. People in the world and more so here in the states have, in my humble opinion, become less and less good. Cruelty is on the rise and the advent of the internet has fanned that flame more than any other medium in human history.

You see, in this day and age anyone can from almost anywhere sit down and with no accountability, write or comment anything that they want to say and while I am for freedom of speech I am not for abuse.

I think I became more aware of it when Gabby Douglas, who is a Olympian, was taken to task about her hair in 2012 and some of these commentators were from the very same race as Gabby was.


Same thing when Marc Anthony sang “God Bless America” at the 2013 MLB All Star Game and people has something negative to say and many of those comments were just plain ignorant calling him Mexican or not American. (His parents are Puerto Rican and he was born in NYC.)

If you want more examples, go to any Yahoo news item and just read the comments, you will find some sort of cruel and/or ignorant comment from someone hiding behind a screen-name.

Again why?

It is so much harder to be mean, and it has been proven that you actually spend more energy being mean as opposed to being nice which has been proven to be beneficial to one’s health.

So again, why?

Signs of the times?

It has been said in the Judeo-Christian faith that people would be more insensitive to each other as the End Times was drawing near.

And that has seem to be the case as days go by.